In my blog I’m practicing a writing style called honest truth, lets see how it goes. Tonight, well more like last night, was my 8th time doing stand-up. Side story, I accidentally erased the post I was working on before this one, so I’m gritting my teeth trying to subdue the urge to kill myself while also pushing forward and finally completing what I set out to do! I know the 8th time someone does stand-up isn’t exactly praise worthy. Congratulate me when I sell out, Madison Square Garden. In the post that got erased I talked about how I had to google how to spell Madison Square Garden. I just didn’t want to make her mad, I have a bad habit of second guessing myself when I don’t have to “But if I don’t now, who will?!?!?”. This 8th time was important for me because it was the first time I used my memory mostly for my material rather than my notes. Still used the notes tho… Old habits die hard… Still the experiance was fucking lit! I can use lit in this context because I’m a millennial, Ok Boomer? I don’t care who you are. I’ll Ok Boomer you no matter how old you are. I’d Ok Boomer God if I had the chance.
My whole life seems to have gotten better/acceptable from doing stand-up consistently. Where else are you allowed to fail over and over again and still be allowed to come back for another shot. It’s kind of like sex. Now I kind of understand comedians who refer to Comedy as a woman. She’s as cold and horny as any other woman, but for some reason she’s taking a liking to you and keeps inviting you back no matter how bad you are at smash. And I don’t mean the video game. And I don’t mean cold as in mean or unfeeling, but as how hard it is for me to get a read on if she likes me or not. I know she likes me, but I want her to like like me. She keeps inviting me back so it must mean she like likes me right??? But I bomb so hard, how could she ever think good of me?! Maybe it’s just a pity fuck… And in some naive way I’m thinking that one of these days I’m just going to blow her mind so much that she’s just going to make me bae. Isn’t that some conceited shit! Right when she makes me bae then I’m going to have the audacity make her call me Daddy…. Who the fuck am??? And fuck me to fall back on humility as an escape route from my audacity, right? I just want to get to my ideal. So here’s to my first post, and many more to come. I’m too Jewish to waste the money I spent on this fucking thing…. #sadbois