9th Time Doing Stand-Up

Fucking booooooommmbbbbeeeeddddd. The longer you write it out, the more upset you are about it. I shouldn’t be so hard on myself. But I can’t help it, I look in the mirror and all I see is high standards, and I haven’t smoked in days. I’m working with a new set I made and while on the mic everything just went blank. You know I’m being trained to be a modern psychoanalyst, which means I’m supposed to be comfortable talking with schizophrenics. I used to be intimidated by this notion, but at this point the schizophrenics seems way easier than stand-up. It’s hard to look people in the face. I guess this goes back to my intimacy problem. I’m terrified of trying to please someone only for them to end up disappointed. I’ll just practice more. Keep going to open mics. Never give up, that’s the motto. I feel like if a bomb ever stopped me from doing stand-up it’ll probably be due to it literally killing me. The people I mean, not the bomb alone. Uuuuggghhhh I just want my mental ideal to match my reality. Alright, I guess that’s enough of me for now. Talk to you next post…. weirdly tho without anyone reading I’m basically talking to myself. So it goes…. #sadbois