I haven’t posted in a while, I know that, and I apologize. Since I’m basically talking to myself, I guess I’m apologizing to me??? I got a new job that takes like 7 hours away from me every day. And on top of that, I have another job that takes away an additional two hours 5 days a week, and I got to school. Chalk up an additional 4 hours to the total. This equals out to…. I’m exhausted. Couldn’t even go do stand-up. Which makes this technically my first hiatus. I’m an over worker at heart. I don’t want to use workaholic because I hate addiction. Even when I’m exhausted I can keep going until I eventually collapse. That’s why deep down I think I can be an awesome writer. I have to force myself to take care of myself, if that makes any sense. I’m deeply hurt by the fact I didn’t suck it up, just go do my set, and leave. But, this new job is really important to me and I have to make sure I get good rest. And I’m a night owl so if I don’t give myself a two hour window to fall asleep I’d be up until 2am. Also, the following day would be work plus school which means I’d be out of the house at 7am and get back in around 9:30-10:00pm. For everyone whose already been doing that and thinks I have no right to complain; this my first time being on this type of work schedule!!! I even lapsed and didn’t realize that I scheduled my appointment with my therapist the same time I scheduled the meeting for the monthly review of my client. Old me would have bugged out, and had like a seizure, or grab the gun. I even felt that behavior pattern encroaching over me like Venom. Thankfully, I was able to calm myself and get to the meeting 30 minutes late. Someone was even later than me, so basically I was absolved of all crimes do to a worse offense or is that not how being late works??? I was also able to have my session with my analyst over the phone. I told my therapist “Even Spider-Man was late to things”. I feel like my therapist sees me as an awkward, but hilarious man child, and she would be correct in that analysis. However, I think I can make a Spider-Man Reference without feeling her roll her eyes through the phone!
Where am I at presently? Gifting you this blog post right now, duh… Don’t worry about these incredible jokes, the noose is at the ready. Suicide is just aggression aimed at yourself because you’re too afraid to aim it at those who hurt you in the first place. Which is why I choose to get banned over gaming servers instead of killing myself. I find it so ironic that as soon as video games became a “sport” I stopped playing them. Sports!!! Don’t even get me started on sports! I hate baseball because it presumes that I know what both sports and sex are like. I know women that can shove a baseball bat up their clam chowder can. Now I got my wife asking me why my baseball bat smells like shellfish. I’M ALLERGIC TO SHELLFISH!!! by that I mean I”M NOT ALLERGIC TO SHELLFISH!!!! it’s kind of like nuts, I just find them, unappealing. I don’t have a wife, I don’t even have a girlfriend. I do have or did have three ferrets from a previous relationship. So basically I’m a divorced dad with three kids. And two of them died! I bet you’re like what?!?!? how?!?!? To save us all time and energy I’ll just simply say the plague took em. Did you know that if you watch black BDSM porn you’re supporting black sex slavery, god forbid they were underage. Then you just slap child to that list of internet crimes, and you’re fucking done buddy. I generally asked a woman “What’s your favorite kind of joke?”, but that wasn’t specific enough so then I asked her “What’s your favorite subject matter to joke about?” She said “I’m into sexual jokes and dad jokes.” So then I was like “That’s perfect! I’m into sex, and dad jokes are my specialty!” That’s one of the greatest dad jokes of all time, and if you can’t see that you’re a hater, and you probably wipe back to front. Sorry I’ve been busy. #sadbois